remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
