You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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