I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
