Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
