I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
