We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
