i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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