I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
