I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
