He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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