i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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