Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i drank out of a bidet.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
