dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
