you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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