don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
