FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
