I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
