This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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