Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
