I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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