Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
