This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Randomize