i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
