I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
