My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
