too bad you live with your parents still
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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