But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize