Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
