Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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