wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
