No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
