sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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