why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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