i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I fill condoms, not promises.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
