Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
