drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
