He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Randomize
