i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
