operation harelip BJ is a go
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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