Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
