Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
