I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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