im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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