I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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