I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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