Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
