he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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