So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Quick, to the slutcave!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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