why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
