My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
