it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
