She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize