Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
