that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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