i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
