just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
