I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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