I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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